Lost Little Savior
by thewulf
Summary: A short angsty ficlet of Emma's thoughts, after she loses control of her magic. Set after 4.07. I love reviews.


"They love me…" said Emma to herself like a child seeking reassurance and affirmation.

"_But they also fear you_," said another voice, which sounded like a strange blend of her own voice and the Snow Queen's.

"Emma!"

Her mother's shrill cry.

Her name, uttered in fear, shock, anger, and… repulsion?

She had hurt her father.

No, she had hurt a woman's husband.

Snow White's body curling in a protective gesture over her child.

The child her parents would get to raise.

A True Prince.

Unlike the Lost Little Girl who had been sent away in a magical wardrobe.

Not a Princess.

A Savior.

"_How many times have you felt more like a savior that their daughter?_" that strange hybrid voice asked.

She should come with a warning label. Emma Swan: use before date marked at the bottom of the container. Eventually everyone turned away from her. It was inevitable. The "best by" date was passed sooner than later. After all, the longest times she had ever spent anywhere were the three years with her first foster parents, and the two years in Tallahassee waiting in vain for the man who had never shown up.

"_You hurt your son! You're a monster, not a mother!_"

He had tried to help her. Henry would always try to help. Emma smiled, even as two soft tears leaked out of her eyes.

"We can help you," Elsa had told her.

No they could not. Not permanently.

Even Elsa needed her sister, and had briefly lost control of her powers because of her sister's absence. So would Emma. All it took was one fatal accident. She could not use someone as a crutch for the rest of her life.

She had to get rid of her magic.

"_If you don't have magic, and you're not even the savior, of what use are you to any of them?_"

"It's my fault. I thought you didn't love me. If I'd known, I would never have brought Emma to Storybrooke."

Her son's words uttered at the Town Line, on the cusp of a parting, to his other mother.

"He loves me," said Emma.

"_But he doesn't need you anymore_. _He's back with his original mother."_

"I need to get rid of her. She is a liability," one of her foster mothers had whispered to her sister, after noticing the looks her husband had been sending her way. Emma was 16. That was the night Emma Swan had run from foster care for good.

"If I had known who you were, I would not have come near you."

"Our relationship with our daughter is unique, but it is not what I wanted."

A confession made in the cave of Echoes.

Could she blame her mother?

After all, she had never really raised Henry from birth. She knew the pain of lost chances.

"You're the savior!" Killian's voice, proud and admiring.

She could have hurt him badly if her father had not pushed him away. Maybe even…

"I was supposed to bring back people's happy endings," muttered Emma to herself.

"_And a wonderful job you have done too_!" said the voice in a sarcastic whisper.

She had caused Regina's broken heart, and probably Robin's. The woman she had tried to save was lying lifeless and frozen, cursed by the Snow Queen. Her child confused by the return of a mother long gone, and now unmoving.

"_You broke the curse. You did your job. Nobody needs you anymore. Your son has another mother. Storybrooke has another sheriff. Your parents have another child. And there are other wielders of Light Magic._"

Maybe she would go back to New York. Back to the Land Without Magic, where her powers would not work, and she would never be able to hurt anyone she loved ever again.

Killian would come with her. He would give up Storybrooke if she asked him to. He had already given up his ship and his home for her. But she could not ask it of him. He would be lost in the world outside of Storybrooke. He would come to resent her. It was inevitable.

Henry wouldn't want to come. He loved Storybrooke. She could not ask him to leave his other mother behind again.

She could not uproot the people she cared about the most for the sake of her selfish desires, and cowardly fears.

And most all, she did not want to leave.

The Lost Little Girl did not want to run anymore.

She had found her home at last. She would stay in Storybrooke, even if she was only second best in her parents' affections. Even if Killian was disappointed in her for giving up her magic. Even if Henry was upset that she was no longer the savior.

But they would not fear her. And she would not fear herself. She would be a part of their lives, without the risk of her ever causing them harm with her powers.

She would ask Gold to help her. She would get rid of her magic.


End file.
